Really…!

I have been giving a lot of thought to the word “authenticity” lately. The textbook definition is the “the quality of being authentic.” Some of my focus on that word stems from the study I have been doing for my long overdue dissertation. Some of it is due from some personal study in scripture. However, much of it is due to my observation and study of people. Sadly, I just see a lot of people not being authentic. Even more sad to me, there are plenty of times that I am inauthentic as well.

Lots of words are associated with that one word…consistency, realness, integrity, accuracy, genuineness, and on I could go. The quality of being authentic simply means that you are consistently accurate in the representation of the facts in your life. The key word is consistently. To put it another way…you are true in who you are at all times in all places and with all people.

Have you ever been one way with one set of people but another way with another set of people? Is there anything or any attitude that you hide from “certain” people? I know that many times we would say those people are hypocrites. To me, it’s more of an issue of authenticity. I think too many people just don’t know who they are…so they end up being someone they are not. That’s being inauthentic. Do you know who you really are?

As long as we live here on this earth, we live in the flesh…we are human. However, Romans 6 also makes it very clear that anyone who has been regenerated through faith in Jesus, they are no longer slaves to sin. The Bible make it’s clear that I am dead to sin…the “old man” has passed away and I am alive in Christ. When I choose to sin…when I do those things or have those attitudes that are not right or honoring or acceptable…when I do things that I want to hide from certain others…I am then being most inauthentic. Those things are not me…those things are from the old man, those things are dead. I am not living out of who I am but instead choosing to live as someone I am not. Crazy isn’t it. When I choose to sin…when I choose to have those attitudes or do those things that are not right…I am choosing to be inauthentic because that’s not really me…the new me is dead to sin and alive to Christ. I will have to take responsibility for “my” actions…but my point is that my choosing to sin is not “really” me. I must simply learn what it means to be who I really am in Christ. I must learn what it means to be authentic!

So who are you? If you are a Christ follower…you are a forgiven, treasured, precious, and loved child of the Most High God. You are alive in Christ and dead to sin. Anything you are doing that you are hiding from others; anything you are doing that that is not God honoring, right, and good; any attitude you are holding on to that is displeasing to the Father…well, that is not who you are!

No one likes a fake…you don’t even like them! If you are a Christ follower, then quit being fake by doing those things you know are not honoring, right, and good. When the old self wants to rear it’s head and pretend to be you, just say, “that’s not me” and let Jesus bury that old man again. There’s a classic line from a movie…”I see dead people” and to be honest, they are all around us. People who have “died to sin” but they let that dead person back out and run their lives.

When Jesus said to a woman caught in sin, “I don’t accuse you either…go, and sin no more”…he really meant it. If you are doing things you know you don’t want too…you don’t have to keep doing them! Christ in you is bigger than that attitude, habit, or action…you just need to know that truth. (Romans 12:1-2)

Authenticity really is so freeing and life giving…may we all embrace it! Imagine what our lives…our homes, schools, neighborhoods, and even our churches would be like if we were all more authentic…living our lives out of who we really are in Christ! It would be amazing…really!

A New Adventure Begins…

Two years ago next month our family drove away from our house in Wichita Falls, TX making our way to an apartment in Franklin, TN. We left a church, a home, and friends that we loved to go to a place we had never actually seen before except online. Our move was prompted by a stirring I felt from the Holy Spirit to walk along side of some guys who were planting new churches while I finished a doctorate that focused on team leadership with church planters. It was a move that was based upon faith, obedience, and convictions…no job, no church, no security, but no doubts. Although I can’t say that I have accomplished all that I had hoped…it has been an incredible adventure filled with great times of growth and learning.

Before we left TX, we had a family meeting with the girls to talk through the move. There were a lot of thoughts and emotions that night as we had that conversation but I communicated two things that were very clear to me. One, our moving to TN was an adventure that we were all going to go on. Our whole family had a purpose for our move…it was not simply about me. And two, I shared that we may only be in TN for a year or two…a time to serve, learn, grow, and work on my dissertation. We would then see where the Lord would lead us again but it may not be to stay in TN. I shared those two things that night and there have been many changes and surprises along the way. However, one thing that has not changed is the belief that God would be faithful as we walked in obedience. True to His character, God has been faithful and now almost exactly two years later, He has provided an opportunity for me to serve the Kingdom utilizing my gifts, strengths, past experiences, and passion.

Although we love living in the Nashville area, God has opened a door for me to serve at Pinelake Church in Brandon, MS. www.pinelake.org. I will be serving as a pastor in charge of the church planting efforts and the leadership development of their ministry interns. Pinelake will lead out in producing a new generation of church planters and network with other church planting churches to help recruit, equip, coach and lead church planting-focused disciples with a vision for kingdom multiplication nationally and internationally. (For those so inclined, I copied the job description below.)

It will be a new role for me and for Pinelake. This position will call for major adjustments from me and the family as we make the move to a new location so your prayers are appreciated. Brandon is located just outside of Jackson, MS in a beautiful, growing community. Pinelake has been well led by their Senior Pastor, Chip Henderson, for the last 12 years and has grown to some 7500 in attendance in their weekend services. Church planting and leadership development is taking a front seat in their overall mission and I have the incredible privilege of being on the ground floor of developing this emphasis.

I accepted their invitation last week and will begin serving in March. Understandably the girls have mixed emotions but actually they are doing well and see some great things ahead for our family. At this point, I will be doing some commuting back and forth as the girls and Melody finish out the school year in TN and then we will make the final move in May. Thanks for your continued support, love, and friendship. Please keep us in your prayers as we start writing a new chapter…it is one that is filled with great anticipation of amazing things to come.

Partial list of responsibilities:

• Create, develop and manage Pinelake’s Church Planting Residency Program.
  • Annually discover and recruit church planters from various colleges, seminaries, or churches to participate in the Pinelake Church Planting Residency program.
  • Lead the equipping and coaching of the church planting residency members in 11 months of training preparing them to plant new life giving churches nationally and internationally.

• Oversee the ASCEND internship programs (www.ascendatpinelake.org) for kingdom multiplication.
  • Annually discover and recruit 8-10 college/seminary graduates who are preparing for full time vocational ministry to participate in 11 months ministry intern program.
  • Oversee the ministry interns, providing on-the-job training and experiences to next generation church leaders.

• Direct the development, oversight, and execution of Pinelake national church planting strategies and partnerships.
  • Serve as a working link with the LAUNCH Network (www.launchstrong.com) and all associated church planting hubs. Facilitate church planting equipping and networking in coordination with LAUNCH Network strategies, opportunities, and needs.
  • Support “Hub South” of LAUNCH equipping and networking roles: to help train and coach planters with an ability to start, grow, and lead strong, to mature a vision of multiplication, and to facilitate dialogue between church planting minded churches.
  • Network with other like-minded church planting networks (NAMB, IMB, etc.), churches, or planters to facilitate best practices for multiplication and kingdom advance in accordance with Pinelake vision and strategies.
  • Maintain partnership and connection to select Pinelake sent or supported national church planters through networking, follow-on coaching, and needed long or short-term mission team augmentation.

• Communicate to the Pinelake body the role and impact of church planting churches for God’s kingdom advance.
  • Develop servant leaders/disciples with a vision and passion for multiplication and church planting.
  • Provide opportunities for the Pinelake body to support and interact with the work of partnering church plants and planters.

Words Matter

It’s been a few days but my heart is still heavy.

She started out somewhat calm but the more she talked, the more it became obvious that she was in pain. It was about an hour and half that this young lady spent sobbing and pouring out her heart to Melody and me. Sometimes we can forget just how real the feelings of teenagers are. Everyone faces tough days and teenagers are no exception. I know from my own daughters that there will always be the usual teenage issues of “this person being mad” or “that person giving a dirty look.” It’s easy for me to dismiss those days as trivial because I know in time those things will not even be remembered. However, what this young lady shared with us struck a cord deep in my heart.

I don’t walk the halls of Jr. or Sr. high schools anymore so I can forget what it is like. However, one thing I have not forgotten, regardless of age, is that words matter! It is big deal when people say things to you or about you that just aren’t true. It’s huge when you have people that you once considered a friend who are now talking “trash” about you. It hurts when “friends” say degrading, cutting remarks as you pass by and then smile at you with “I’m just kidding.” It affects you when you are verbally harassed and bullied by those that you have to see every day. Words matter…especially words said to and about teenage girls.

What do you do? You can’t go tell someone to make them stop…that will only make them talk more about you; you can’t really ignore them…you have to be around them each day; you can’t “beat them up”…you know that you would be the one who would be hurt most and it wouldn’t help anyway; you certainly can’t get your parents to intervene…that would be the death sentence. It seems to be a “no win” situation…it’s tough! We have all been there but it doesn’t make it any easier on someone who is there right now. Sure we survived and that may bring some hope at the moment, but tomorrow morning she is the one who will have to return to school again and be the object of comments, judgments, and slanderous words.

I feel for her and the countless other teenagers who are dealing with the assault of verbal grenades. She is a nice young lady but with an extra sensitive heart to what people say and think about her. The continued barrage of careless words from immature, insensitive, and idiotic people have affected her deeply. Words matter! Words have power and they affect us even to the point where they can destroy our very soul. Many of us have tape recordings in our heart and head of words that were said to us. Years later some are still damaged from the shrapnel of those words. Some of us know stories of destructive acts done in response to the words of others. The old saying of “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” just isn’t true!

So what is the defense against such a powerful offense! There are obvious ways to combat the words that are thrown at us: distance yourself from the “attackers,” confide in trusted, mature friends for support, learn of your identity in Christ, prayer, read the Bible, and memorize scripture. If you are under attack, I pray that you hear the words of truth about you…you are precious, valued, wanted, beautiful, and loved. You are not alone and may you find comfort in Him, His Word, and people who have His heart. However, something each of us can do each day is to simply speak good words, life giving words, words of blessing to those around you. Words can hurt but words also have the power to build up, to heal, and to empower. I have said it for a number of years but if there is one thing we can never get enough of, it is encouragement!

Today, may we look for people that we can give life too! We don’t know what people have just faced or will face! We don’t know what words have been thrown at them or what words are being replayed in the depths of their soul. Regardless we can add life and value to them by simply sharing a “good word” with them. Parents, teachers, grandparents, bosses, employees, relatives, strangers, friends, and even teenagers…change a life today by encouraging someone. Say something nice to someone today because they matter…and your words matter too.

Ephesians 4:29…Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.



I am not a Pageant Dad

I have been saying that as I share with people about the pageant that my two oldest daughters have been involved with for the past few months. Our journey culminated last week in a national pageant but before I share a bit about it, I need to rewind.

Back in September, Madison and Michaelah competed in the National American Miss pageant for Tennessee. NAM (www.namiss.com) is a wonderful pageant system that is providing a great avenue for young girls to grow in confidence, achieve personal dreams, and develop leadership without compromising character or convictions. Michaelah is 13 but her May birthday put her in the Pre-Teen division (ages 10-12). Madison was in the Jr. Teen division (ages 13-15). It was a great weekend with girls from across the state competing in both the pageant as well as separate optional contests in Talent, Casual Wear Modeling, Spokesmodel, and Acting. The pageant is a scholarship pageant that is judged by a highly qualified panel of judges who base their scores on poise, communication, influence, and service. I have been impressed with many of the young ladies in the pageant from their outward beauty as well as their character, maturity, intelligence, and spirit.

Michaelah finished as the 4^th Runner Up but also took home 1^st place in the Talent Competition and 2^nd Runner Up in the Casual Wear Competition. She was also the 1^st Runner Up for the Miss Personality award; the award voted on by the contestants for the girl who is warm, encouraging, friendly, genuine, and fun. We were so proud of her and loved seeing her grow through this experience.

Madison had a wonderful weekend. She was blessed to be crowned as the National American Miss Tennessee Jr. Teen. She also won the Actress Competition, was 3^rd Runner Up in the Spokesmodel, and was given the Miss Personality Award for her division. We were humbled, surprised, and a little in shock from all that she was awarded that weekend.

As the state queen, Madison was to compete in the National Pageant in Anaheim, CA over the Thanksgiving week. Because Michaelah finished 4^th Runner Up and won the Talent, she could compete in the National All American Miss Pageant held at the same time.

So last week I spent 7 days with Melody, Madison, and Michaelah in the Anaheim/Los Angeles area. Madison was competing in the National American Miss Jr. Teen Pageant as a state queen and Michaelah was competing in the National All American Miss Pre-Teen Pageant. What an incredible week! There were outstanding young ladies from across the nation competing for the coveted crown. It was week filled with laughter, stress, activity, joy, challenge, fulfillment, and a host of other emotions.

Overall, it was a wonderful time of seeing some of the sharpest, brightest, and most lovely young ladies from around the country challenging themselves and encouraging others to achieve their dreams. The week had moments where we could sense the presence and pleasure of God as some of the girls truly honored Him by their character, words, and actions. The week also had moments where the “whispers” from the Evil One was evident as he sought divide friends, destroy self-esteem, and steal joy. During the course of the week, there were many teachable moments for me and all of us associated with the pageant.

The pageant mirrors life in that there will be ups, downs, disappointments, surprises, blessings, challenges, highs and lows. How we respond to those different experiences is a reflection of our faith. In our humanity, we sometimes respond in the “flesh”…but as children of the Heavenly Father, our goal is to respond to all of life’s experiences with grace, faith, and love.

I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who loves me enough to forgive me when I respond to life in the “flesh”. I am also thankful for a Heavenly Father who is faithful, and graces me with strength and power for those times where life doesn’t go as I desire. In His sovereignty, I know that He allows me to experience a plethora of situations so that He can teach me about His love and grow me into the image of His son. Last week was wonderful time for me, and for our family, as we learned more about faith, love, and God.

Madison made it into the top 10 and was 1^st Runner Up for Miss Personality. What an incredible accomplishment!

Michaelah also had a great accomplishment…she was blessed to be crowned the National All American Pre-Teen Queen.

In the end, I think I learned that the pageant has a purpose more than an earthly crown or a title; it is about life, and the Father’s purpose to prepare all of us for a heavenly crown that will last for eternity. Who knows, maybe I am a pageant dad after all…!

It’s Never Too Late…

His name is Conner!

I told him that I would never forget him.

Last night, Conner showed up…15 minutes late I might add…to pick up my oldest daughter for her first official “car date”. I had only found out an hour before that he was picking her up…alone! I was thinking that a group of them were going and I was still processing through thoughts and emotions. They were just going as “friends,” but still I was about to let my daughter get into a car with a young man I had only met one other time and drive off on her first car date…just the two of them. There were a lot of things I was thinking and feeling, none of them were good!

I was waiting outside, leaning beside my car to greet him. I can close my eyes and still see him driving up in his glimmering metallic silver BMW with tinted windows, music blaring through the premium package “subs” he had installed in his car. As he got out of the car, I had planned several things to say but my thoughts were still all over the place.

Although I have given “the talk” a couple of times previously to some boys who had expressed interest in my daughter, this time was different.  Those boys never drove off with her…those boys met her in groups…those boys would “date” her by seeing her at our house with us there, or at his house with his parents around, or in public settings with a lot of people around. This was different and I was not ready.

He approached me, stuck out his hand and said something like, “hello Mr. Wheat”. I thought…yea, that better be the only time his hand touches a “Wheat”. (Not really, but I wished I would have said it!) We made small talk for a few seconds and then I launched into “the talk”. I wanted to make sure that he understood my expectations for the night and the trust I was placing in him.

God has entrusted me with three daughters. These three girls are gifts to me, on loan, I might add from the Heavenly Father. They are not mine…they are His. Having entrusted me with His girls, I have the awesome privilege and responsibility to do everything I can to see that they move closer in their relationship to Jesus. I wanted him to know that I was counting on him to help me carry out my responsibility. Anything that he did that night was to promote, honor, and glorify Jesus! He nodded in agreement so I moved on. I then added that I also have the responsibility to protect my girls. I was expecting him to help me keep her safe…to look after her and protect her physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually from anything that may want to hurt her.

Our “talk” didn’t last long and his part of the conversation was fairly simple, “yes, sir!” He was respectful, cordial, and in agreement to what I was asking. So, off they went…as I stood watching and wondering! I wanted to say more…I wanted to have him say more…but I said what I needed to say, it was sufficient for now.

I have read books on daddies and daughters and how to deal with those dating years. I have given counsel to other parents through the years but nothing prepares you for the emotions you feel that first time she leaves on a date. My daughters know that any guy who wants to have more than a friend relationship with them has to meet me for “the talk”. It makes them nervous (makes me nervous too) and there hasn’t always been agreement on it…but it is something that they know has to take place for a relationship to move past friendship. However, after all the reading and all the counsel I have given out, I still didn’t feel prepared for the first time. I suspect that I won’t feel prepared for the 50^th time either. Yet, I will have “the talk”, regardless.

My daughter has grown up way too quickly. For 16 years I have prayed for her (and her sisters), counseled them, and tried to show them what it means to live your life in love with Jesus. I am not perfect and have made my share of mistakes along the way. However, I am not about to abdicate my responsibility as her earthly father and trust that a teenage boy, even a Christian teenage boy, completely understands the role he is to play in my daughter’s journey. I share “the talk” with him in hopes that he not only will honor my daughter on their date, but that he will also see his responsibility in future relationships as well.

My hope in writing this part of my journey is for encouragement. To those of you who have kids, especially teenagers, I want to encourage you to stay involved in their life. As much as possible, pray for them, love them, guide them, honor them, protect them…parent them! It’s never too late to start. If you haven’t done anything like this, let me know so I can pray for you and encourage you…and you can do the same for me.

If you are a teenager or if you are single, still looking for that person to love, one who will honor and respect you, don’t give in to the pressures of culture in your search for a relationship! Don’t give up and walk away from the Father who wants to lead you and protect you. If you have, it’s never too late to come back. He loves you and wants you to know His love.

Today may you be encouraged to move closer in your relationship with Jesus. Regardless of who you are, where you are, or what you have done or haven’t done…it’s never too late for you to have “the talk” with the Heavenly Father.

He knows your name…and will never forget it!

My Wife…

I am probably like a lot of people in that I don’t always verbally express my love and appreciation for the people that really do mean the most to me. I am long overdue in this regard to many people, but especially my wife. I am wanting to get better at this, so today I thought I would spend a moment to talk about Melody. I know that many who are reading this entry also have a great spouse, so take some time today and do something that let’s them know how great you think they are. I also know that many who are reading this haven’t been married or were formerly married. In either situation, I know that it is difficult at times for you. I want to be sensitive to you but at the same time express my thoughts about the person that God has allowed me to call my wife.

I was asked to preach yesterday at a local church. It had been some time since Melody had the opportunity to sing so I asked if she could sing as well. I gave a message from the book of Esther about how the story of the gospel is foreshadowed in the the story of Esther. God placed Esther as queen in the Persian empire, in that point and time in history, to bring about the rescue of the Jewish people from apparent destruction. At a point and time in history, God sent his son at just the right moment to rescue us from the destruction that sin brings in our lives.  In addition, God places us in times and places to influence those around us and He wants to use us to rescue them from the destruction that sin brings on the lives. We are where we are today for something greater than just today. We are in the places we are “for such a time as this”, Esther 4:16.

I had Melody sing at the end of the message an old Wayne Watson song, “For Such a Time as This.” Honestly, I questioned the song because it was so dated and it didn’t have the energy that I really wanted to close out the message. However, God uses people and their gifts in ways that human reasoning can’t conceive at times. I always love to hear Melody sing but yesterday was an unusually beautiful experience. Besides the effortless way in which she hit the notes just right, it was the presence of Jesus on her as she sang. She is gifted by God to sing…but she was created by God to worship. Much like what Eric Liddel said in the movie, Chariots of Fire, “when I run I feel His pleasure”. When Melody sings, you can feel His pleasure. It was a powerful reminder to me that God creates us for something that brings Him pleasure…and others come to know Him when we are doing whatever it is He created us to do. It was a moving encounter of worship to see, hear, and experience the pleasure of God yesterday through my wife doing what He has gifted her to do. I love her for many reasons but I fell in love again as I saw her glorifying God in the way she was created to glorify Him. I am so thankful and blessed to have her in my life.

I know that as she reads this at some point, she will probably be a little embarrassed. I also imagine that some of my “good” friends will also make a point to jab at me for going on so much about my wife. However, we all need to go overboard in telling those that we love deeply how much we really love them. Far too often we take our spouses, our parents, our kids, our friends for granted! So let me challenge you to find a way today to tell those who mean so much to you, especially your spouse, just how much they matter…just how blessed you are to have them in your life. Find a way to encourage them and allow them to do what they were created to do so that God can be glorified and so that you and others will come to worship Him. You are in that relationship with them today “for such a time as this”!

Twists and Turns

Ok, so it has been way too long since I posted something. However, this post may explain my “season of silence”. I have been immersed in a discovery process and to do so I withdrew for a season as I processed through all the factors surrounding a very big decision. I have emerged from this time of discovery a stronger, more focused, and more peace-filled person. The journey is not always enjoyable in the midst of it…however, it is perseverance through it that produces fruit that will last.

To recap: almost two years ago I had my first conversation with someone in the South Carolina Baptist Convention about the possibility of coming to work in the SCBC in the area of church planting. Although much has changed in our lives in the past two years not much happened in regards to that opportunity until the past 5 months. I was offically offered a position in August in which I accepted and was due to start mid-September. However, over the past month many things occured on their end and our end that prevented me from having a peace about that decision. I won’t go into all of those “things” but the bottom line, I kept having reservations. I tried every which way to force it…to make it work out…to receive that peace. I wrestled internally but kept moving forward…because surely this is what God wanted! The conversation started two years ago…surely this has to be what He wanted…I really like the guys and ladies in the SC church planting department…they are doing some great work…I get to be a part of that…I want to be a part of that! My mom and dad, brother and sister live in SC…I would be less than an hour away from where I was born and raised…I will be working with guys that I love and want to serve…this responsibilities would actually be the focus of my doctoral dissertation…surely this has to be what He wants!  You have no idea the energies…physically, emotionally, and spiritually…I have expended over the last month processing all of these thoughts. I had been communicating with the SC leadership throughout the last month that because of the recent changes from their end that I had some reservations, yet I also kept moving forward because I had already accepted the position.

Finally, after two days this past week of “going dark” (completely withdrawing from almost everyone and spending time in prayer and reading the Word), I came to the peace-filled place that I had to decline this position. That decision didn’t make sense “rationally” but it just made sense! It was the thing I had to do! So, on Friday, September 17, I had a conversation with my future  “boss” and told him where I was, what all had been going on, and that I would have to decline their offer. He was disappointed, but to his credit, he was incredibly gracious and understanding.

Our journey has just taken a new twist and turn but it is one that brings me peace amidst the uncertainity. In spite of the fact that I have no idea at the moment what God will do and where He will lead, I have more peace than I did a week ago when I had all of those things. It is a good place to be.

Again, I am thankful for the people that I am so richly blessed to have in my life. God continues to be faithful to provide for us through Melody’s teaching position, my speaking and consulting opportunities, and support from friends and family. I would be honored and blessed if you would pray for us. Melody and the girls are doing well and actually look forward to the next chapter of faith in our lives. I am a blessed man and I look forward to seeing how God will use this season and how God will use me in the future to advance the Kingdom. May you be blessed by the Author of love and Perfector of our faith!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.                Proverbs 3:5-6