It’s been a few days but my heart is still heavy.
She started out somewhat calm but the more she talked, the more it became obvious that she was in pain. It was about an hour and half that this young lady spent sobbing and pouring out her heart to Melody and me. Sometimes we can forget just how real the feelings of teenagers are. Everyone faces tough days and teenagers are no exception. I know from my own daughters that there will always be the usual teenage issues of “this person being mad” or “that person giving a dirty look.” It’s easy for me to dismiss those days as trivial because I know in time those things will not even be remembered. However, what this young lady shared with us struck a cord deep in my heart.
I don’t walk the halls of Jr. or Sr. high schools anymore so I can forget what it is like. However, one thing I have not forgotten, regardless of age, is that words matter! It is big deal when people say things to you or about you that just aren’t true. It’s huge when you have people that you once considered a friend who are now talking “trash” about you. It hurts when “friends” say degrading, cutting remarks as you pass by and then smile at you with “I’m just kidding.” It affects you when you are verbally harassed and bullied by those that you have to see every day. Words matter…especially words said to and about teenage girls.
What do you do? You can’t go tell someone to make them stop…that will only make them talk more about you; you can’t really ignore them…you have to be around them each day; you can’t “beat them up”…you know that you would be the one who would be hurt most and it wouldn’t help anyway; you certainly can’t get your parents to intervene…that would be the death sentence. It seems to be a “no win” situation…it’s tough! We have all been there but it doesn’t make it any easier on someone who is there right now. Sure we survived and that may bring some hope at the moment, but tomorrow morning she is the one who will have to return to school again and be the object of comments, judgments, and slanderous words.
I feel for her and the countless other teenagers who are dealing with the assault of verbal grenades. She is a nice young lady but with an extra sensitive heart to what people say and think about her. The continued barrage of careless words from immature, insensitive, and idiotic people have affected her deeply. Words matter! Words have power and they affect us even to the point where they can destroy our very soul. Many of us have tape recordings in our heart and head of words that were said to us. Years later some are still damaged from the shrapnel of those words. Some of us know stories of destructive acts done in response to the words of others. The old saying of “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” just isn’t true!
So what is the defense against such a powerful offense! There are obvious ways to combat the words that are thrown at us: distance yourself from the “attackers,” confide in trusted, mature friends for support, learn of your identity in Christ, prayer, read the Bible, and memorize scripture. If you are under attack, I pray that you hear the words of truth about you…you are precious, valued, wanted, beautiful, and loved. You are not alone and may you find comfort in Him, His Word, and people who have His heart. However, something each of us can do each day is to simply speak good words, life giving words, words of blessing to those around you. Words can hurt but words also have the power to build up, to heal, and to empower. I have said it for a number of years but if there is one thing we can never get enough of, it is encouragement!
Today, may we look for people that we can give life too! We don’t know what people have just faced or will face! We don’t know what words have been thrown at them or what words are being replayed in the depths of their soul. Regardless we can add life and value to them by simply sharing a “good word” with them. Parents, teachers, grandparents, bosses, employees, relatives, strangers, friends, and even teenagers…change a life today by encouraging someone. Say something nice to someone today because they matter…and your words matter too.
Ephesians 4:29…Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
